I'm a bad person

I am delighting, somewhat, in what I'm pretty sure is someone's misfortune.

A woman my age who led a nonprofit organization is no longer with the org - and I'm pretty sure it was not of her own accord. Over the past few months I have heard mainly negative things about the organization and its leadership, so I believe things came to a head this past week.

I really should not be happy at this. On principle, I should support her for being a young and ambitious woman much like myself. However, I was never a big fan of hers and mainly blew off her organization because of that. I knew that her direction was wrong for the organization by what members of my organization were saying. My boss and I knew she was doing a poor job and other people could notice as well - this town is much too small for people not to notice. It showed.

I'm happy that someone who was wrong for the position is gone, but I'm also wary of my job and performance. My boss and co-workers like me, of this I am sure. And they think I do a good job, as evidenced by my last review, but I am a worrywart by nature and a workaholic by upbringing. I constantly feel like I don't do enough and need to work longer, harder, or more efficiently. I think I have a pathological fear of letting people down - which is helpful for climbing a nonprofiteering ladder but murder on the psyche.

As my boss said about the situation, whatever you do comes back at you. A bad job will come back to bite you in the ass. A good job will, eventually, be rewarded. As to how or when that reward come back I have yet to find out.