Winter Wars

Winter is long. Winter in Wisconsin is forever. Global warming has blessed us with its golden-brown hand and made us its frosty bitch.

More than 76 inches of snow has fallen in Madison since December 1st, breaking a record and a few spirits along the way. It's also been wickedly cold, with a few 2 and 3 day stretches that didn't even break 10 degrees.

What is one to do when SAD kicks in and the booze won't stem the flow of snow angst? Fight or flight, my friend, fight or flight.

Wisconsinites are a hardy bunch. We have to be because, hey (der), it's Wisconsin. We have to fight off mud ducks, FIBers, UPers and dem Canadian foreigners for primo pasture and glacially defined territory. Who doesn't want this land of the ice and snow, the midnight sun where the hot springs blow. How soft your fields so green, can whisper tales of gore, of how we calmed the tides of war... We are your overlords ... AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

See? Fight. Screw winter. Mother nature ain't got nothin' against Goretex and the North Face. In fact, going outside even more won't just piss her off, but also earn her respect. The more we snowboard, ski, ice skate and bar crawl, the more she will up the ante. Around these parts that ante might last until May, but by that time the spring and summer department sales roll around and we are easily distracted by the mere though of 30+ temperatures.

There's also the option of flight. Someplace warm, tropical, coastal, third world or whatever - as long as it's not in the same state/region it's a vacation and an escape. Go somewhere else in the world to spite Mother Nature and see what karma it will incur. Just make sure to wear a big red "W" so she knows you mean business.